Snowed In (Custom Story DEMO RELEASED)

[bobbo]

I think if you used those text lines ALOT (like the "yes I can think much clearer now" part) that would be sth. new & refreshing, which you haven´t seen before in customs storys. The character should get some "colour", not be so "pale".
You should be able to sympathize with him, because he has the exact same FEELINGS as YOU do.

He/You have to be FORCED to go through there. Neither you nor your char want to continue, but you just can´t get out.

I personally wouldn't like to see such lines used a lot. Of course they shouldn't read "Mh, maybe I should investigate" totally relaxed if the character was in fact supposed to be scared, but I wouldn't like constantly reading "Uahahaha, what is this?!" lines. I don't have the same "feelings" as my character, I'm sitting at my desk and not in a closet hiding from monsters and of course I do want to continue.