Castle Dorian [Full Version] [Download is now online!]

[Alex Ros]

By the way it's not hard to inject an intrigue into your story. You already have all the elements. It's easy to criticize, but I guess some practical help would be a lot nicer...

Spoiler below!

1. Don't tell anything at all about the plague and monsters at the beginning. Just a letter from a mother, preferably very blurry. No intro of course, sorry, have to cut that. At home give some info on relationships between William and his mother. Preferably details that we will later meet at the castle - for example "oh home sweet home,how I was afraid of these knights in a hall! And I do remember that I took one helmet and hid it in library. Until then one knight was standing headless". And later player will see that knight without a helmet. It's just an example. You can do anything... well... ok... As a result when a player gets to the bridge and meets the first dead body it would work like: "What the fuck?!? What happened here? Monsters?"
2. Next you have to cheat a player. He's sure there will be monsters. That's Amnesia! Isn't it? And we enter that village house after the bridge. And here you tells the player that it's plague. Nothing mysterious, no monsters, no curses, just a plague. And that's were you should give info that because of plague lots of people decided to go to hide at the castle. Not earlier.
3. Until we get to the town - you have to build up a cheating story that everybody died because of plague. Dead rotting bodies and nothing more. No blood stains. Nothing. The more player will be thinking about the simple plague the more unexpected will be a mystic turning point.
4. Town. Blood. The first time we see blood. Fucking bloody slaughter and massacre. Everywhere we see parts of dead bodies. Burnt bodies. Broken windows, boxes... whatever. You have to cheat a player once again, that there were something like a little war-riot. No monsters. Just people got mad. And as long as there's a village and a castle it could be wise to show up a difference between nobles and villagers. It's not hard. Just make some dead knights, lying around shields, swords, etc - and you have to clearly show up the difference in weaponry between nobles and villagers.
5. Finally castle. Next move to cheat a player. No blood, no bodies, nothing is broken. The lights are lit, everything's seems to be extremely cool and quiet. No holes in the ceiling... but... where's everybody? You hear some steps upstairs, somewhere the door closes... little scares... hey, hello! I am here! Mom!?!
6. Everything's fine until the west wing. That's where you can show up destruction and abandonment. No lights, water on the floor dropping from a whole in a ceiling, debris, etc. And that's where you can show up mystic part of a story for the 1st time. But no monsters yet. Something like falling objects, winds, etc... bloody footprints showing up in front of players eyes (just for example).
7. If I am not wrong next we return to the main part of a castle - change it visually drastically. Just like it is right now. But preferably a LOT MORE dark and destructed than right now. And it's up to you to let player miss all the differences and let him go shortly downstairs - or move the door to the basement to another place, so player would have to walk through the main part of a castle once again in a dark version of it.
8. Basement... the same as it's right now. Preferably the "labyrinth" should be twice larger in order to make the meeting with a monster a lot longer. Preferably but not necessary.

That's all. Of course that's a basics of how to inject practically an intrigue into your story. I just wanted to help a bit, simply because I can, it took me just half-an-hour to write-down all that, it's nearly an improvisation. And now it's up to you what to do. Good luck!